it's true when you said that no one is true to me besides my family.

no one

not even you

fuck this bullshit, like you said.

the list

List of things

* how you always tell me you love my food
* how you take photos of my cooking
* when you take photos of me when i'm cooking
* when you defend your food from your friends
* when you put on the helmet for me when we go cycling
* how you keep looking back at me when you're cycling infront of me
* how you keep asking me if i'm ok while cycling
* how you make sure i'm on the right track
* how you always tickle me when i slow down from jogging
* and run away when i get angry
* and surrender when i say 'you run some more!'
* how you always entertain me by playing roll on the floor
* and always grab me so i won't jump off the bed
* and eventually both of us end up on the floor
* and laugh together with me
* how you always hug me when we're on the bed
* the way you look at me
* and the way your evil-looking eyes go smaller and longer
* and you smirk
* the way you call me bb
* and bbbbbb while shaking your head
* the way you always feel my feet to tell if im feeling cold
* and wrap my feet though i feel umcomfortable

these are only part of the list

the list that makes me go (: when i think about it
and feel in love all over again

karma bitch, karma

hi my friend. im here to talk again.

being lied to. being explained to.

believed the explanation.

and only to find out the explanation is another lie.

it's so hurtful.

it's hurtful because i never thought people would actually lie to me.

like, why?

at this point of life i just feel like only daddy mummy korkor mama rover and fifi (maybe not, when it comes to food) and maybe carrot are true to me.

it hit me so hard that i just don't want to see anyone anymore besides my closed ones.

The Miss Poons.

I'm back and broke. lol.

Had my favourite noodle. Room's clean and tidy (thanks mummy or kakak!) but some clothes went missing. Guess they're at my aunt's or charity centre.

My aunt and cousin love to raid my wardrobe whenever I'm not around. Sometimes they'd just come by, wearing my belongings and say, 'Oh I saw this the other day and I think I look great in it. I bet you don't remember this belongs to you.'

Sometimes she'd say, 'You wouldn't even notice if I take something out of your wardrobe. So, might as well.'

I like how close my aunt and I are that she'd just take my stuff without having to ask, because she knew that I wouldn't mind anyway. After all, she's my aunt who stayed with me during my younger years and dressed me up like a princess.

She'd braid my hair and wear all sorts of cute and pretty clips on my head. She'd buy me all the lacey dresses and made sure I had matching shoes to go with them.

It feels good to be home.

Of Ferrero ice-cream, swans, and tulips

I was sitting at the backyard with a bowl of il-gelato ferrero ice-cream on my hand.
As spoons of ice-cream slowly melted in my mouth
I watched the birds flew by
I got mesmerized by the beauty of the roses, planted by Chong papa and mama.
And I think I found some peace, in my mind, and in the sacred soul of mine.

I wish I could just live here for the rest of my life.

There are no shopping malls that open till 10p.m everyday.
There are no mamak stalls that you can spot every few kms, or probably few metres.
There are no such thing is Tuesday ladies' night, Wednesday Mambo Jambo, Thursday 4Play or any consistent events every week, in different clubs.
There's only one club that is happening enough, Metro City, which only opens on Saturday nights.
There are no tall buildings, they can only be found in the city.
There are no 24 hours restaurants or cafe like OldTown or PapaKopitiam.
There is no such thing as calling your friends at 2a.m and you still can go somewhere with them.
You can't speed here and you have to constantly drive below the speed limit.
You can't just pay off the police with RM50.
And there are no happening people.

But there are beautiful gardens and lakes in each housing area.
There are swans and ducks and dogs that don't go around chasing people.
There are beautiful, clean beaches just half an hour drive away.
Beautiful sceneries are everywhere.
Greens, clear blue sky, and colourful flowers that paint the picture perfect.
You don't have to buy imported tulips or roses.
They are locally grown here.
There are friendly, helpful, and genuine people everywhere.
The policemen are well respected.
They are looked up to, as they should be.
There are bbq nights where you get to see your friends and drink, and in the end you see 3 of the same friend.
There are people who you call friends and you don't compare or compete with them.
Who cares about Chanel or Prada?
Just down that shot of 151.

But you don't always get what you want.
That's the thing about life.